Wednesday, April 22, 2009

There Are Millions Of People In This World, But In the End It All Comes Down To One

I went on a date yesterday. The guy I met on the internet. Expecting a horror story aren’t you? Well, I don’t have one for you today. Six months ago I would have said that internet dating is a sure fire way to get rejected every single day. Honestly, that’s what it is, if you don’t find someone cute and nice to chat with, it means the 1,000 people checking out your profile said, “eh, no.” Which you know, always feels great.

The universe loves to give you everything or nothing I’ve decided. Six months of barely a hit, and this week, three nice cute men found me. Tuesday was the first of these escapades. One thing you have to be careful of when dating online is the “good on paper” guy. The guy fits your physical standards, height and body type match up, he has a job, a good job or even a great job, and seems to have enough charisma to write a decent yet unpresumptuous ‘About Me’ section. This guy fit that, and after several e-mails back and forth… he showed some depth.

What they don’t include on the website are sound bites. I seem to be a magnet for the men with the accents. Not knocking foreign guys at all but it begs the question: what kind of men do I attract? The first guy I ever 3Ded with from the internet was Greek and boy did he sound it. In that case, having a conversation almost required subtitles, specifically indicating sarcasm. The boy, man, date I ended up meeting is from Slovakia. He’s been here awhile so the subtitles could be shut off.

Another problem with online dating is phone number etiquette. Do I give the guy I don’t know my phone number? But if I don’t then you’re bound to have communication/meeting issues. As I did. This guy e-mailed me the day of our “date” to confirm but since I didn’t go home I never received it. I ended up waiting almost 20 minutes before conceding to call him. Damn you caller ID. Yes I realize I could have done the *82 trick or whatever it is, but who has time to be clever when you think you might be stood up? After getting the guy on the phone he explains the confirmation e-mail story and says he can meet me in 10 minutes.

Ten minutes later, awkward date time. The guy was still cute, probably an inch shorter than his online stats, and heavily accented. So off we go to alcohol land, drinks are ordered, and forced conversation begins. Truth be told, it was fine, he’s very sweet, nice, complimentary which is nice, although, I’m such a cynic, he’d call me sexy and I’d laugh a snarky laugh. (Not at him, just at the clichédness of it.) The only culture clash I found was the increasing amount of physical contact over the course of the evening. A brush of the thigh here, an arm around the shoulder there… it wasn’t annoying just a bit forward for a guy I barely know.

Conclusion, yeah I might go on a second date. Will I marry him? No probably not, but online dating is as good a way as any to get out there and figure out if not who’s right for you, but who’s wrong for you. Plus, you might get a free drink out of it or a future other half. What’s wrong with that?

Title Quote from Crazy/Beautiful

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Hearts will Never be Practical until They are Made Unbreakable

I was in a relationship that ended badly. Of course I was, are there people in this crazy world who cannot relate to that statement? If you can’t, then I can only assume you are wasting your time reading this when you obviously should be spending your time taking samples of Planet Earth’s soil or observing our atmosphere’s weather patterns. Say hi to the mothership for me. The human condition requires that relationships be difficult. As I so often try explain to my friends, in addition to convincing myself on days when logic fails, the most wonderful things in life are often the most difficult to attain, otherwise what makes them special?

That might seem an incredibly bubblegum thing to say but think about it. The things, people, circumstances people find most desirable are those that are not the most easily attained. Not to say that there aren’t people out there whose life goal is to have a banana split with hot fudge and a cherry on top. What happens, though, when the thing you want the most is… well, something completely beyond your control, such as a date, or a husband/wife or a child? Well crap.

There are so many books, movies, magazines, articles, scientific studies, all relating to this pursuit in order to make it something everyone can have. Yet still, with all of this overzealous communication, honesty, and dissection so many of us still haven’t got a damn clue. We might even be more confused than when we started.

I’m sure most people have their own mantra when it comes to relationships. “Time heals all wounds,” “Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” or “What’s meant to be will be.” I love that one. It evokes the image of an omnipotent being gazing over the filing cabinet of humanity and randomly color coding our files, “will marry, will divorce, will have cats, will attract losers, will divorce, will be single…” Is it all really that much out of our hands? Everyone who claims to be in a successful relationship will often recount their first meeting story with a note of how lucky they were to find each other. Something you often want to have in writing if the relationship fails.

What’s one more blog in cyberspace dissecting the randomness of love, marriage, and sex? Oh wait I’m sorry this is 2009… soo… sex, procreation, and divorce. Am I that cynical? I don’t think I’m grown-up enough yet, but someday maybe. I haven’t quite gotten stuck to the bottom of Life’s shoe yet.

Title Quote from The Wizard of Oz