Wednesday, July 8, 2009

You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book!

I'm reading an erotic novel disguised as a vampire saga. No, I'm not reading Twilight for the 100th time, unless you're reading the unwritten unrated version, then, we might need to trade. There's something about a well-written sex scene in a book (romance, thriller, whatever...) that makes you forget all the reasons you shouldn't be having spontaneous sex with the guy behind the counter at CVS, and just go for it.
I'm not condoning random sex with drugstore workers--although you might get a discount on the condom you use--but it doesn't really support sleeping with people who might be emotionally good for you. It does remind us that spontaneity can be a huge turn-on.
The drives of ones body, to be flowery, aren't easy to ignore once you've opened that car door. Do you ever wonder why it was so easy to have such sexually sparse relationships in high school or middle school for some of you? Because kissing WAS enough, once you start giving into those feelings and realizing what kind of sparks can exist, well suddenly kissing becomes the appetizer. Granted, I'd almost always rather have 2 appetizers than 1 main course and I think most women would agree with me.
Women seem to be drawn more to the erotic novel more then say, the erotic movie, quite intellectual of us, no? This is a gross generalization and I apologize to all of you men who love a good harlequin romance and every girl who has youporn tabbed on her browser. You know who you are. But, the fact is that these novels are generally geared towards women. There is something about reading a sex scene as opposed to seeing it. This might relate to why women like foreplay so much. Sex scenes in books just ooze with foreplay, you can't see it coming (no pun intended) so the lead-up is what's exciting, like... wait for it... an appetizer! And you thought I was digressing!
There are a million sexy ways to have characters accidentally touch or kiss, plus, there's setting, intrigue, sexual tension, and generally some part of the plot that will make it so much more complicated later. It takes a skilled writer to come up with a creative way to phrase "he put it in her." Yawn. It's not even the actual sex that's exciting, it's the lead-up. No, we're not drawn to drama, just appetizing foreplay... although isn't it kind of sexy when you get both...