Thursday, November 19, 2009

There's two things we get stupid for, money and sex

I am a twenty something career woman. I am in a relationship with a musician. Yes, I also consider myself a musician, however, the 'day-job' I have found myself in has allowed me to become established in my young age. I'm truly an adult with my own place, bills, health insurance, and money to indulge in recreation. So many women in their twenties once they graduate are becoming more and more successful in their careers, both educationally and fiscally. Men are not quite on this rise. This makes the balance of power a battle of the sexes.

We're still fighting the same battles today; the rise of the successful woman, not hurting the pride of the man. Money and power are not things to ignore in a relationship and as much as we may like to believe that love, passion, and mutual respect will conquer... but it always comes out eventually. Women today have come to accept that it's ok to go Dutch for dates and that the guy doesn't always have to pay for everything.

I had always equated talking about money as talking about religion or politics, just a subject that shouldn't be brought up at the risk of making someone uncomfortable, whether you're rich, poor, or middle class. Growing up I had friends who lived in colonials, mansions, split-levels, and trailers but as a child money can be put more to the side as an issue.

The New York Time wrote an article about the dynamics of dating when the balance of money is in favor of the woman in the relationship: Putting Money on the Table. And I think although it covers the basic issue, it doesn't provide a solution. Can your relationship survive if there is a gap in fiscal balance?

Maybe in emphasizing that it isn't the size of a man's wallet that matters, some of the urgency in being successful as a man has decreased a bit. Because it's all about personality now, right? It's easy to be stupid about money when we're busy being stupid about sex.

Title Quote from House