Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I once was broken up with by a guy's doorman: "I'm sorry, Ms. Hobbes, Jonathan won't be coming down. Ever."

I just broke up with a guy. He was not my boyfriend. Until someone proves me wrong I'm completely convinced that breaking up is different for girls than for guys. How do I know this? Well, as I said, I just broke up with a guy, who wasn't really my boyfriend, so really we're taking a "break" and just not seeing each other for awhile. I broke up with him not because I don't care about him, I do, a lot... I did this awful thing for good reasons, and yet... I feel like a complete shit. When was the last time you saw a guy feel like this after he broke up with a girl? I'll be never.

Breaking up requires a lot more pre-thought then you'd think. Where? When? How? Should I even say ANYTHING or just cut this person out altogether? I did it over the phone, which under normal circumstances I would consider lower than dirt to do, but me and this guy couldn't see each other until next week and did I really want to let it lie that long? I suppose that would have been the less selfish option, but the shear fact that we wouldn't be seeing each other for that long may have pushed me over the edge into this predicament.

What's even more complicated is... now what? Do we not talk anymore? Do we? Is that weird? Technically we've been allowed to see other people the entire time we've been "together" so that doesn't change. What changes? Does ANYTHING change? Well so far what's changed is I'm not mad and frustrated anymore... I'm upset, not happy. That wasn't part of the plan. How much of yourself should you give up to make something work to avoid exactly this situation? How much should you expect the other person to give? Solve that equation and you're the new John Nash.

Title Quote from Sex and the City