Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Resolve to Fight for Yourselves, and For Others, For Those You Love.

I had an epiphany induced by coffee beans hiding in my seemingly innocent chocolate bar. And all I was trying to do was make chocolate covered strawberries. Cooking never ceases to solve a plethora of problems. Something about feeding yourself really does feed your brain. Last night I realized the key to future happiness in my future relationships, despite the fact that it’s a complete cliche. The man I end up with is going to be the man who fights for me. Sounds simple? If it was would I bother writing an extensive paragraph about it? Welll, probably, haha but it wouldn’t be very good.

Most people would agree that fighting is never the best solution to a problem. As kids we are taught to find intelligent peaceful solutions to problems to avoid verbal and physical conflict. In martial arts, despite being taught the skills which allow us to defend ourselves in a difficult situation, the most important lesson you learn is how not to use those skills. Many of us tend to avoid confrontation, violence, and war at any and all costs. Except in the case of love.

Talk to any parent about fighting for their child, I’m sure they would describe in immense detail the lengths for which they would go to protect him or her. Fighting for ones rights, rights that allow us life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, or love. Fighting for love is a common issue these days, allowing the marriage of two people of the same sex to share that love in a marriage. I’m sure most people would agree that if one must fight, one must fight for love.

I don’t mean to imply that love and violence should be interconnected. Not so. This is not an article condoning domestic violence in any capacity. I’m almost positive that you got that. I hope. I am stressing the importance of “The Fight” the struggle and journey that hopefully will land you the person of your dreams. Is there really any other conflict out there can result in such an agreeable resolution.

Back to the epiphany, it started with the romantic inclination of having two men
fight over me, a fantasy. What’s the attraction to the violence in that? It’s almost primal right, like two males gunning it out until the stronger male more able to procreate successfully mates with the female. Now that’s just sexist of me right? Why would my instincts buy into that incredibly sexist scenario? Good question.

As I thought about it more, I flash forward through the men I’ve crushed on, dated, and loved. Any common denominator? Well, I’m not with any of them. Perhaps this is my fault… but then again maybe I’m picking the wrong men. None of these guys ever fought for me when things got tough. The guys I’ve dated, we broke up “mutually” but what that means is there was a bump in the road and we had to part ways. If a guy wanted to be with me, should that, or should that stop them? Or should we be content with the phrase, “I’m a lover not a fighter.”

How does this knowledge affect me? Well, for the first time in my life I feel in control and content. I’ve spent 5 years chasing after a guy who I’m in love with, doing everything and anything I could think of to convince him that we were meant to be. I was in a relationship with another guy who I cared about who couldn't and wouldn’t find the time to commit to me. I realize now that with guy no. 1 I can finally stop fighting. I can have this person in my life in the same capacity and not be miserable if we’re not together, because now, that fate lies in his hands. For guy no.2 I just broke things off explaining that I couldn’t do it anymore. Now what you ask? Now I wait, and see if either one of them will fight for me. Guys have it easy these days, they aren’t fighting dragons for their damsels, or kissing seemingly dead ones to wake them up, or fight a vampire or a werewolf…. but a girl can dream right?

Title Quote from The Poseidon Adventure