Sunday, May 16, 2010

The Wedding Dance is a timeless ritual... Surrounded by a group of family and friends. Watching, smiling, taking bets on how long it's going to last

I went to a wedding on Saturday. The groom is my boyfriend's brother. I suppose as a woman it's no big surprise to anyone that I absolutely love weddings. Although I guess some women find them inane, tacky, sappy, and even a reminder of one's romantic status. Even though I am in a relationship, I have to say that I enjoyed weddings even as a single girl.

Weddings are so interesting to me for the simple fact that you learn so much about a couple by what you see at their wedding. Also, for me, this was a giant opportunity to meet my boyfriend's entire family. Yikes, no pressure there. And manage to body shield my heart from the seemingly innocuous, "First your brother, then you're next!"

For me the most informative part of this particular wedding was the actual ceremony. The entire function took place at one location, the ceremony and the reception. The ceremony was in a pretty room that had an almost Greek garden appeal. They had their own reverend (a woman) and the vows were a-traditional.

At first, she recited the verse from the bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4


“Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous, love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offense, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end.”


I love that quote; after the standard thanking of friends and family, the MC went into detail about how the couple met and a summary of their time together. She even incorporated quotes from the pair about the other. That was the most telling part. And part that made me tear up. That and when they did their own vows. I love that.

I know some people find weddings annoying, but I think it's important to recognize your love for your partner in a ceremony that binds your love in front of friends and family. And then kick off your union with a party! Who doesn't like that?

Title Quote: Wedding Date

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Sexy is the thing I try to get them to see me as after I win them over with my personality.

I am a girlfriend. I do not know why or how this happened. However, I do know that there are things most guys look for when they hire for this position. Even though I did not submit a resume, according to askmen.com there are certain traits that are more preferable than others.

10. She's Independent
9. She's Intelligent
8. She's Sexual
7. She's Beautiful
6. She Respects You
5. She Lets You Be a Man
4. She's Nag-less
3. She Gets Along with Friends and Family
2. She Loves You
1. She Makes You Want to Be a Better Man

Well, of course we're not so thrilled about #7 or even #4 but other than that, I think that's pretty reasonable. The question is how accurate is this list, and do guys really know what they have when it's right in front of them?

If you're looking to meet a real guy (guys in bars don't count 99% of the time) then I'd say this list almost completely holds up to reality. All of us seem to think that guys are douch-bags until we listen to our guy friends talk about how hard it is to find a woman. Guess what! There's a list for guys too!

10. You Listen to Her
9. You're Spontaneous
8. You're Sexual
7. You're Confident
6. You Pay Attention
5. You Give Her Space
4. You Respect Her (and her family)
3. You Better Yourself
2. You Challenge Her to be Better
1. You Make her Feel Beautiful

Not bad AskMen.com. I'd say that's about par, although some of them could be switched around a bit. Some of these actually coincide with the girl's list. So ultimately guys want girls who feel beautiful because their men think they are beautiful and make them feel beautiful. And girls want guys who pay attention, then give them space, but help each other better each other, and wait... wait are you even listening to me? No I'm not nagging...

Title Quote: Sex and the City

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Had my Dream Again Where I’m Making Love , and the Olympic Judges are Watching.

I had a weird dream. I dreamed that my boyfriend and I got into a fight. It was incredibly vivid. He was working at a bar (he's a bartender, not a giant stretch) and he came home with a girl's phone number. Being my non-perfect dream self, I was as jealous and suspicious as I would have been in real life. I asked him why he took it and he claimed that it wasn't important enough for me to be upset. Then, I proceeded to ask dream-him whether he had asked for the number or whether she had just given it to him. After a "I won't dignify that question with an answer" answer, he said I could guess. I guessed that he asked for it, and he was flabbergasted and upset that I didn't trust him.

I woke up to the real man next to me, all sleeping and innocent and wonderful next to me. He woke up not soon after I did, and I told him about it, editing out all genuine concern. Being wonderful, he sidled up to me and said it was a ridiculous dream and that his dream-self sounded more like the voice of my other exes, not him.

While that mollifed me for a bit, I wondered how much of our dreams are voices from the past. I looked up the meaning of a suspected cheating "spouse" in my trusty dream dictionary and apparently:

"To dream that your mate, spouse, or significant other is cheating on you, indicates your fears of being abandoned. You may feel a lack of attention in the relationship. Alternatively, you may feel that you are not measuring up to the expectations of others. This notion may stem from issues of trust or self-esteem. The dream could also indicate that you are unconsciously picking up hints and cues that your significant other is not being completely truth or is not fully committed in the relationship." -Dream Dictionary.com

This begs the question, do I have fears of abandonment in my relationship? Unfortunately yes. The ghosts of my past haven't completely gone away and deep down I'm still that insecure girl from high school who never felt she could measure up to her first love. I guess the boy was right. As for the unconsciously picking up deception in the relationship or commitment, I don't think so.

On the flip side, I had previously had another dream in which I had THREE boyfriends: my boyfriend, someone I can't remember, and randomly, John Corbett. We went to an outdoor camping retreat and they rotated my affections in order to essentially be the last man standing. Very Bachelorette. Oh and there was a pogo stick. In this scenario,

"To dream that you are cheating on your spouse, mate, fiance, or significant other, suggests feelings of self-guilt and self-betrayal. You may have compromised your beliefs or integrity and/or wasting your energy and time on fruitless endeavors. Alternatively, it reflects the intensity of your sexual passion and exploring areas of your sexuality. It is actually a reaffirmation of your commitment. Furthermore, it is not uncommon for people approaching a wedding to have dreams about erotic experiences with partners other than their intended spouses. Most likely, such dreams represent the newness of your sexual passion. It may also signify anxieties of changing your identity - that of a spouse." -Dream Dictionary.com

So I've reaffirmed my commitment and expressed fear about my boyfriend's. Sounds like normal relationship steps to me. Time to hit the sack and be hit with further relationship advice.

Title Quote from When Harry Met Sally