Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Had my Dream Again Where I’m Making Love , and the Olympic Judges are Watching.

I had a weird dream. I dreamed that my boyfriend and I got into a fight. It was incredibly vivid. He was working at a bar (he's a bartender, not a giant stretch) and he came home with a girl's phone number. Being my non-perfect dream self, I was as jealous and suspicious as I would have been in real life. I asked him why he took it and he claimed that it wasn't important enough for me to be upset. Then, I proceeded to ask dream-him whether he had asked for the number or whether she had just given it to him. After a "I won't dignify that question with an answer" answer, he said I could guess. I guessed that he asked for it, and he was flabbergasted and upset that I didn't trust him.

I woke up to the real man next to me, all sleeping and innocent and wonderful next to me. He woke up not soon after I did, and I told him about it, editing out all genuine concern. Being wonderful, he sidled up to me and said it was a ridiculous dream and that his dream-self sounded more like the voice of my other exes, not him.

While that mollifed me for a bit, I wondered how much of our dreams are voices from the past. I looked up the meaning of a suspected cheating "spouse" in my trusty dream dictionary and apparently:

"To dream that your mate, spouse, or significant other is cheating on you, indicates your fears of being abandoned. You may feel a lack of attention in the relationship. Alternatively, you may feel that you are not measuring up to the expectations of others. This notion may stem from issues of trust or self-esteem. The dream could also indicate that you are unconsciously picking up hints and cues that your significant other is not being completely truth or is not fully committed in the relationship." -Dream

This begs the question, do I have fears of abandonment in my relationship? Unfortunately yes. The ghosts of my past haven't completely gone away and deep down I'm still that insecure girl from high school who never felt she could measure up to her first love. I guess the boy was right. As for the unconsciously picking up deception in the relationship or commitment, I don't think so.

On the flip side, I had previously had another dream in which I had THREE boyfriends: my boyfriend, someone I can't remember, and randomly, John Corbett. We went to an outdoor camping retreat and they rotated my affections in order to essentially be the last man standing. Very Bachelorette. Oh and there was a pogo stick. In this scenario,

"To dream that you are cheating on your spouse, mate, fiance, or significant other, suggests feelings of self-guilt and self-betrayal. You may have compromised your beliefs or integrity and/or wasting your energy and time on fruitless endeavors. Alternatively, it reflects the intensity of your sexual passion and exploring areas of your sexuality. It is actually a reaffirmation of your commitment. Furthermore, it is not uncommon for people approaching a wedding to have dreams about erotic experiences with partners other than their intended spouses. Most likely, such dreams represent the newness of your sexual passion. It may also signify anxieties of changing your identity - that of a spouse." -Dream

So I've reaffirmed my commitment and expressed fear about my boyfriend's. Sounds like normal relationship steps to me. Time to hit the sack and be hit with further relationship advice.

Title Quote from When Harry Met Sally