Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Speaking of Chronic Conditions, Happy Anniversary!

I'm celebrating my anniversary Friday. I'm celebrating my two year anniversary. This is officially... since the year mark last year... my longest relationship ever. I feel so grown up! Of course I wanted to do something special to celebrate the occasion. Initially my boyfriend was going to decide what we were doing, but in the end we both decided to have a lavish dinner at the Mexican place where we first met. Aw. I know. Honestly, they have really good tequila and fajitas.

These days when people are taking longer to date each other before they get married, these kind of milestones are sort of a gray area in the world of Hallmark. It's not a wedding anniversary so most of the cards you'll find are marriage humor or sappy "you're the best wife/husband ever" themed. (I'll write on my constant need to vomit in the Hallmark store another time, suffice to say, it can take me a long time to buy a card.)

I love cards though, I think this is because I grew up in with parents who loved giving and receiving cards. Some people find the cookie-cutter sayings they contain sappy, contrived, generic, and unoriginal. I tend to write a little extra under the coin phrase of the card myself, but in my mind, making the effort to physically go out, pick out a card, and write on it, is more sentimental than an e-mail any day.

But I digress. With this flux of long term non-marital relationships existing, there aren't really presidents for how to treat the occasion. If it's a marital anniversary, well, according tradition, the second anniversary is: Cotton. "Happy Anniversary Honey, we now own a cotton field!" "Hmm, well, I guess this means I can get her a t-shirt and she can't yell at me?" I do love this whole history of wedding anniversary gifts thing, but again, this is more marriage applicable. And what non-marital anniversary requires the gift to be a diamond?

This is something I try not to over think. Overall, I've mostly been reflecting on my how our relationship started and where we are today. Things between us started off very emotionally fast and now they are slowing down a bit in terms of conventional milestones. I'm learning more about how relationship work every day, and how time effects them both in positive and negative ways. It's naive to think things will stay exactly the same as the day you met, that's impossible. And not desirable.

I think about the spark between myself and A and I think fondly on those beginning months. But I also think about how hard being apart was for both of us when we lived in different places. We only saw each other twice a week, money was a lot tighter, I was dealing with the crazed rules of my ex-roommate, who later decided to hate A. These days, I get to see A every day, we can cook together, share our days... it's a much more comfortable, relaxed, romantic arrangement in my mind. We know each other so well, and it's okay. More than okay. That's the goal. I can't wait to see what another year together will bring!

Maybe even a sparkly new outfit for my left ring finger...

Title Quote from Guys and Dolls (1955)