Can you believe these new girls? None of them use birth control and they eat all the steak!

I want nothing more than to have a baby someday. I want nothing more than to not have a baby until I'm ready. In 2010, birth control celebrated it's 50th birthday. (We are talking FDA approved birth control in pill form, no antiquated herbal forms, although I hear the Ancient Greeks used a plant called Laserwort... ew.) It's pretty mind boggling how big a step birth control was in our society, all of a sudden woman have a real choice about when to begin having children... or when not to. Quite a step for women's rights.

I myself have always felt very on the fence about using a birth control method other than condoms. Something about altering my body's natural processes always made be a little, cautious. Knowing your body is important and it can be jarring when chemicals are messing with your rhythm. But. Nothing else short of abstinence can completely guarantee not having a baby before you're ready.

Although, these days you wouldn't think birth control exists what with all the teen pregnancies making reality TV and the "accidental" pregnancies that happen to all of our favorite celebrities. Seriously, in my my mind, accidents should be pretty rare these days. I mean either you're using something, or you're not. (I'm willing to acknowledge some times it might happen, but if you are pulling in millions a year, don't tell me you don't know if you're using a pill.)

I think I figured it out though. I read an article recently that talked about more and more women these days playing "Baby Roulette." I'm hoping I don't have to explain that too much, suffice to say, the gist of the article is that women don't want to make the decision about when to start a family, so they leave it to fate. Then anything that happens was, "meant to be." In a society where marriage has little to do with having a baby, I find this mentality troubling.

I consider myself pretty liberal minded, I support a woman's right to choice, even if it's a choice I don't personally agree with, but when it comes to marriage and having a family, I'm very old fashioned. I think children deserve to be born in to a family that really wanted them, and has the support of two parents, whether that be mother/father, father/father, or mother/mother. And this is where my liberal self comes back. I think more thought should be given in to bringing a new person in to the world; they didn't ask to be alive and should have the absolute best situation when they arrive.

As much as I might like the idea of having a baby right now, I know I'm not ready. Babies are a lot of work and expensive, and completely change your relationship with your lover. You need more room, more patience, more money, and more work to raise a human as best you can. It's a huge decision. I know what I'd decide if I did get pregnant now by accident. I'd be okay... we'd be okay, but it would be very hard. Harder than I'm ready for at 25.

So, I, like many women, am choosing not to leave that part up to chance. Although it's awfully tempting when I see things like this:

Adorable. Ugh.


Time Quote from Almost Famous

Hearts will Never be Practical until They are Made Unbreakable

I was in a relationship that ended badly. Of course I was, are there people in this crazy world who cannot relate to that statement? If you can’t, then I can only assume you are wasting your time reading this when you obviously should be spending your time taking samples of Planet Earth’s soil or observing our atmosphere’s weather patterns. Say hi to the mothership for me. The human condition requires that relationships be difficult. As I so often try explain to my friends, in addition to convincing myself on days when logic fails, the most wonderful things in life are often the most difficult to attain, otherwise what makes them special?

That might seem an incredibly bubblegum thing to say but think about it. The things, people, circumstances people find most desirable are those that are not the most easily attained. Not to say that there aren’t people out there whose life goal is to have a banana split with hot fudge and a cherry on top. What happens, though, when the thing you want the most is… well, something completely beyond your control, such as a date, or a husband/wife or a child? Well crap.

There are so many books, movies, magazines, articles, scientific studies, all relating to this pursuit in order to make it something everyone can have. Yet still, with all of this overzealous communication, honesty, and dissection so many of us still haven’t got a damn clue. We might even be more confused than when we started.

I’m sure most people have their own mantra when it comes to relationships. “Time heals all wounds,” “Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” or “What’s meant to be will be.” I love that one. It evokes the image of an omnipotent being gazing over the filing cabinet of humanity and randomly color coding our files, “will marry, will divorce, will have cats, will attract losers, will divorce, will be single…” Is it all really that much out of our hands? Everyone who claims to be in a successful relationship will often recount their first meeting story with a note of how lucky they were to find each other. Something you often want to have in writing if the relationship fails.

What’s one more blog in cyberspace dissecting the randomness of love, marriage, and sex? Oh wait I’m sorry this is 2009… soo… sex, procreation, and divorce. Am I that cynical? I don’t think I’m grown-up enough yet, but someday maybe. I haven’t quite gotten stuck to the bottom of Life’s shoe yet.

Title Quote from The Wizard of Oz